More Stuff You Can't See From The Audience

Sarah's description of our habit of yanking our instruments into the air to demonstrate that we haven't dropped them (yet) reminded me of just how unusual this particular orchestra is when it comes to workplace habits. Don't get me wrong - most orchestras have a few good stories or weird traditions, but here in Minneapolis, I would venture to say that we goof around at a higher level than any other ensemble on earth. Just off the top of my head, here are a few of our regular (mis)behaviors:

-- Whenever the orchestra has occasion to fly together on a plane, landings are celebrated with a lusty singing of a Russian folk song (complete with vaguely Russian-sounding nonsense lyrics) by our fourth horn player, followed immediately by an eardrum-shattering "HEY!" and a fist pump from the rest of the band. (No one's ever mistaken us for hijackers in these situations, but you know it's only a matter of time.)

-- Whenever we find ourselves rehearsing Beethoven's 9th, at least ten people are guaranteed to break into song when we reach the first vocal solo in the last movement. Typically, this occurs at an early rehearsal when the actual soloists are not yet present, but honestly, we'd do it regardless.

-- If we find ourselves playing a concert that requires individual lights on our music stands, we will go to extraordinary lengths to find an unused outlet at the end of one of the dozens of extension cords snaking around the stage. And then, we will plug inappropriate objects into it. (In one glorious week of children's concerts a few years back, my stand partner and I plugged in an air freshener, a hair dryer, and a toaster containing two Pop Tarts. We were ready with a blender and a deep fryer when we were finally busted by the personnel manager.)

The viola section, as Sarah mentioned, does seem to be at the center of the madness more often than not, and most of our best material stays on our little corner of the stage, lest we offend some of the more delicate orchestral sensibilities (and here I am referring almost exclusively to the violin section.) I'm really not at liberty to disclose most of our shenanigans, but suffice to say that until I got to Minneapolis, I was always, always always the class clown of whatever viola section I played in. Around here, I come in third or fourth...